Last week I had a call with Stefanie Sword-Williams of Fuck Being Humble. Stef challenged me to dig deep into the purpose of this community that I’m trying to build and make things a bit more slick and memorable.
If you know me, you know I’m a rambler (I just like to add context!), so it was incredibly helpful to have some prompts to better communicate the message I’m trying to share.
It also got me thinking about why we need quiet leaders, so that’s what today’s episode is about.
What even is a leader, anyway?
A leader is (obviously) someone who leads. But not necessarily the manager of a team, although of course that is a common type of leader in the corporate worldt. You can lead a community, a movement, even lead your workplace without officially managing a team.
A leader is someone who makes an impact. Someone who can influence people and inspire them to action. Leading means lifting your people and letting them shine.
A good leader understands that leadership is not about people mindlessly doing what you say. They want to hear from their team and take the time to not only listen to them, but understand how to help them thrive. If you’re the manager of a team, that might look like letting individuals work in a way that suits them, or if you lead a community it might look like listening to people’s views and acting in the best interest of the group.
Good leaders are great communicators. They’re able to make decisions and justify them. There’s no room for ego, and you need to be self-aware enough to act in the interests of the wider vision, not yourself.
Did you notice what wasn’t included in that description? Loudness and extroversion.
Because while extroverts may naturally gravitate towards leadership (and certainly find it easier to be seen and heard) that doesn’t encompass all of the qualities of great leadership.
Loud doesn’t equal better.
No disrespect to louder individuals, because I know them and love them. But they already have the benefit of people assuming they’ll make good leaders. I want to instil that same confidence into the more quiet among us.
So here are 10 reasons why we desperately need more quiet leaders in the world.
1. Quiet people think before they speak
Quiet people tend to speak when they have something valuable to add to the conversation, not simply to hear the sound of their own voice. This means that any input from quiet people in meetings tends to be both relevant and well-thought-out.
The same goes for ideas: us quiet or introverted folks tend to share ideas which have been carefully considered. We’ve probably thought about the pros and cons, put a strategy together and considered some solutions for any obstacles or setbacks before we even bring a suggestion to the table.
2. Quiet people are good listeners
These are both essential leadership qualities, whether you’re responsible for a team or you’re in a less formal leadership role. As leaders, our people should be at the forefront of our decision-making. We must be able to pick up on their needs and have the emotional intelligence to manage issues sensitively.
That means not only listening to what they say, but observing what they don’t say as well. Some people may not be comfortable with raising a problem or telling you what they need, but you might be able to figure it out based on their actions or even body language.
Quiet people tend to be able to pick up on those all-important cues because we’re natural observers. We might not be yapping, but we know what’s going on with our team.
3. Quiet leaders make the leadership team more diverse
Before I started maternity leave, I worked very closely with a Product Owner. For those unfamiliar with tech project management, the Product Owner is in charge of maximising the value of a product (such as an app or website feature) and ensuring that the development team have clarity on the goals for the product. As the Program Manager, I work with Product Owner to organise the team’s work, plan development sprints and ensure that the product is created to the agreed specifications.
Anyway, this Product Owner and I were total opposites, but because we had such different approaches, we actually worked really well together. We were able to pull the best parts of our ideas together and get the best out of the team.
And this is why a diverse leadership team is important. A mix of different people means more innovation, more ideas and ultimately, business growth. Because when everyone in charge works and thinks in the exact same way, they are losing out on so many creative ideas.
4. Team members can feel intimidated by loud leaders
Extroverts might inspire action and motivate people, but they can also intimidate people, meaning they’re afraid to raise issues or share their ideas.
Extroverts can also be a little ego-centric and feel threatened by new ideas. This means that we’re missing out on potentially fantastic ideas because people are scared to communicate them.
This can lead to an overly obedient workforce who are not proactive. Quieter people, who are naturally great listeners, often bring out the confidence in their team to put forward their ideas, as they know they will be received and responded to with compassion.
They know that they aren’t going to be spoken over or dismissed.
There is so much power in listening, and it really does get the best out of your team.
5. Quiet leaders make others feel valued
In keeping with number four, quiet people are often amazing at making others feel valued. And that’s because we are likely to really listen to what they’re saying and take it in.
Sometimes people just need to be heard, even if nothing comes of it - we all need a little validation, right?
We all want to feel valued, whatever we’re doing. It goes a long way towards someone feeling like part of a team or community and wanting to be an active member of it.
6. 47% of adults describe themselves as shy
That’s almost half the population!
Now, if almost half the population are shy, but don’t see themselves represented in leadership, in senior positions at work, and aren’t involved in decision-making that affects them, that sounds like a problem to me.
The thing is, as we’ve established at this point, quiet people can be brilliant leaders.
We owe it to ourselves and those observing to show that shy people can be incredible leaders. To prove it not just to ourselves and people like us, but also to those in power who simply assume that shy people won’t be able to lead, or aren’t interested in leading.
7. Quiet leaders shine a light on others
Leadership is not about being in the spotlight. It’s actually about shining the spotlight on others.
Bringing out your peoples’ potential and helping them to be the best version of themselves.
Loud people might naturally hog the limelight a little, by accident or intentionally, but the quiet ones often appropriately credit their team and encourage them to shine.
8. Introverts are driven by values
I’m caveating this by acknowledging that not all quiet people are introverts, okay? Okay.
Neuroscientist Freiderike Fabritius (excellent name) writes for NBC that introverts tend to be driven by their internal moral compass.
Why is that a good thing? Well, it means that introverts are more likely to choose the option most likely to benefit or resolve the issues at hand, and less likely to be swayed by the crowd than socially-motivated extroverts.
While that might feel like you’re being a stick in the mud at times, it ultimately results in better outcomes.
9. Quiet leaders create a calm working environment
Working environment matters.
I used to work in an open-plan office with someone who was incredibly loud and on the phone at least three times a day - why he didn’t just take the calls into one of the many unoccupied meetings rooms in the office, I don’t know - and it was so difficult to concentrate when he was in the office.
I also had some colleagues who would call me to have a rant about something or would gather everyone on a call to discuss an issue with no warning. And while this can sometimes resolve an issue quickly, it also disrupts everyone’s work. Whereas if a call had been scheduled, they could have planned their workload around it.
Not only are quiet people, well, quieter, creating a calmer work environment, they’re less likely to do things that cause stress for their team, like unplanned calls, confrontational behaviour and forcing them to work in their way only.
So when quiet people lead, we create calmer, less stressful working environments and this leads to less distraction, and not just more output, but higher quality output.
10. Quiet leaders promote inclusivity
Finally, quiet people tend to be inclusive and take a more individual-focused approach to leadership. So instead of expecting everyone to do things their way, they allow their team autonomy over the way they work.
This doesn’t mean allowing them to take the mickey, but acknowledging that people have all kinds of needs when it comes to work. Some people prefer the buzz of the office, where others focus best in their comfortable home environment.
Some people prefer direct verbal communication while others prefer instructions in writing.
Part of being a leader is supporting your team to work in ways that suit them. This is especially important when it comes to accessibility for those with health conditions or who are neurodivergent.
Ultimately, quiet leaders shine a light on those they lead, support them to work in a way that fosters their development, and generate valuable, creative ideas.
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